Reckless Pursuit

Josh & Brooke
Our Story

Our Story~Part Five~Our First Journey

(From Josh’s Perspective)

After I talked with Brooke on May 31st, I went to my room and called my Dad. I asked, “Am I crazy?”

During the six weeks that Brooke was off visiting Haiti, Philippines, and China I tried my best to continue on with life. Throughout this time, I kept asking the Lord to keep my heart hidden in Him, and even if Brooke and I never ended up in a relationship that I would be able to move on and continue pursuing Christ. I don’t recall specific details about this time because it was mostly a blur to me. I remember thinking, “Am I too young to be thinking about getting married?” “Is this really Your will, Lord? If so, speak to me through Your peace.” I ended up having complete peace rest in my soul during the time that Brooke was overseas doing what she was called to do – minister to the orphan and widow, and further the glorious Gospel of our King.

For a few months before this I was digging deep into the spiritual significance of how the Tabernacle symbolized the Gospel after a few talks with my mentor. It fascinated me how studying this day after day there was so much more depth than I could have ever imagined. Life in Christ is an eternal adventure into more and more of who He is. This lifetime is really only the tip of the iceberg, we will soon know Christ for eternity and be able to search and know Him for eternity. Once we get a new revelation of who He is, there’s another one that comes along that causes us to fall on our faces and cry, “Holy Holy Holy” for eternity. I was getting new revelations daily of this symbolism and wanted to share them with someone. When Brooke got back to Colorado for a few days we ended up going to a coffee shop and talking for hours about these things I had been shown and things that had come alive as I was studying this. During these times together I decided to put off my questions of how she will answer me regarding “The Talk” on May 31st. Our conversation that day was so sweet as we left even more enthralled with our King.

One year ago today I Brooke and I went for a short walk on the Poudre trail. I remember being very anxious, because I knew what would happen during this walk. I knew that Brooke was being nice to me, and trying to let me off slowly, and with a soft answer turn down my request to consider a relationship. I “knew” that was going to happen. So as we walked, I became slowly more impatient, and then finally worked up the courage to ask her, “So what do you think about our conversation before you left for Haiti?” I “knew” the answer.

Or did I?

Two years ago today, Brooke said “yes” and our courtship began. To be honest I was a little shocked, as I was fully expecting her answer to be “no”. For the rest of our walk we were on cloud nine, just overjoyed at what the Lord was going to bring to us during this season. With the costly foundation laid in Christ, and our gaze set upon Him; with much expectation we walked forward in His plan. Never before was I so sure of where God wanted me to be until that very moment. I knew that He had great things in store for us as we continued to abide in Him.

I’m not one to keep a journal (though now I wish I had during this season of life.) As Brooke and I were sitting down to write this story for you, we reminisced about the things we could remember during this time in our relationship. We smiled, laughed, and yearned to be closer to our King. He is the author of so many Love stories, and each one so unique and so special to those involved. It pleases Him for His children to be walking in the plans He has laid for them, and He glories in showering many blessings upon those who are called according to His name.

During this season of courtship, Brooke was still on tour with His Little Feet. I remember the conversations and emails we exchanged felt so few. Reading emails from this amazing woman of God only seeking me to be more like Christ in all that I do. After about a month of us courting, I realized that I had better get my act together if Brooke and I were going to be married. The thought came as a surprise to me. “Married? Josh Kinabrew?” The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was to be a reality. After considering what the best course of action would be if I were to begin to support a family, a random email popped up in my inbox. A job was offered to me in California. It was most definitely the Lord’s timing. I then decided that September 20th, 2011 was to be when I moved back to California to take this job and prepare to support a family. I remember that on the morning of September 20th it was an extremely painful goodbye knowing that I wouldn’t be able to see Brooke for quite some time. After our walk, we asked someone to take our first picture together. After the picture was a tearful goodbye, and a 2 day road trip back to California.


A couple months later, Brooke was to be in Nevada for a His Little Feet concert with all of the kiddos. I had this hair-brained idea that I would make the drive out there and surprise her with a visit. Once I told my parents about the idea, they also wanted to tag along because my brother was on the same His Little Feet team that Brooke was. We were going to surprise both Aaron and Brooke in Nevada! I remember this trip was one of the most pivotal points for me in our courtship, because we listened to a sermon on the way that spoke of the ability of God. I remember one sentence stuck with me from the sermon: “What you think you can accomplish in 7 months, God can do in 7 days.” When we attempt to come up with an estimate of how we can accomplish things, we tend to estimate high because we don’t understand how able our God is to come to our rescue in time of need.

I had never bought flowers for anyone before, so I had no idea what to look for. On the morning of surprising Brooke my family and I drove to a supermarket, and I proceeded to look for flowers. After searching the store, I came across these flowers that totally reminded me of Brooke. As I was standing at the door of the house I was to surprise Brooke in, I was a little shaky. My heart was pounding out of my chest, and I wasn’t sure if I was able to stand for much longer for fear of fainting. I knocked on the door, and to my surprise a young man opened. When I said I was here for Brooke, he went in the house to go get her “so she could go to church early to help Christa out with the tables.” The door was left partially open, and as I went to go and try to shut it so Brooke wouldn’t see me outside. As I was doing that, the door opened. Brooke was completely shocked, so much so that she kind of froze for a few seconds.

“Hi Brooke!” I smiled at Brooke and handed her the flowers. She was still in shock. Then we hugged for the first time ever. I was in shock.


So many wonderful things happened during the surprise trip to Nevada. I ended up asking this beautiful girl if I could hold her hand. (She said yes!) After this trip it was even harder to say goodbye. I didn’t like the idea of having to keep saying “goodbye” when I didn’t know the next time I was to see her. During this process of being in California away from Brooke I got a new sense of how Christ is yearning for his Bride, though only in part. Come Lord Jesus, come!

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There’s one essential little story I must share about while I was in California. My family visited this church who happened to have a guest speaker. To be completely honest I don’t remember what the sermon was on that day, but I felt the Lord calling my to give away what I had saved up for an engagement ring. After coming back from church I went to help my mom get groceries, and during the trip she told me she felt the same thing about me giving away my savings. This was a confirmation, so the next day I went and gave my savings away. The whole reason I thought I was in California was to put money into savings and be ready for marriage, but the Lord had different plans.

After the few months I was in California, I made a trip to Ellerslie to see Brooke while she was there after Christmas. I only realized this later on, but the reason we now live in Colorado is because during my trip I talked with my (then) future boss about an opportunity for work in Windsor, CO. I had met Matt (my then future boss) during the first semester of Ellerslie when he and his family came to visit from Australia. It was because of this that he even knew me and knew of my technical background. God has a way of working all things together for the good of those who are called according to His name!

During this transition time from my job in California to my new job in Windsor, I remember the Lord pressing me on something. “If you can’t handle your transitions right, you can’t be brought up in to the absolute full measure of the next season God brings you into.” With the Lord’s help I was able to implement that and come in to the next season of my life in a way I couldn’t have imagined.

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After a point in time, I believed that it was time to become officially engaged. With the way that Brooke and I walked through our courtship, we knew from the start that we would marry, so it always felt like we were engaged. But now it was time to be officially engaged, so I started by talking to Brooke’s father about it, to ask for his blessing upon the rest of our lives. I had never done anything like this before, so I didn’t even know what to say when the time came. Little did I know, once I made the call to see when he could meet Brooke’s father already knew what the meeting was about (even though I didn’t mention it to him in the meeting.) I got lost a couple times driving down to Denver to meet him at a little restaurant. I usually never get lost, but my mind was going in a thousand different directions, which made it hard to focus on the road in front of me as I was driving. After receiving his blessing, and hearing that both Tony (Brooke’s dad) and Gail (Brooke’s mom) had been praying for someone like me to marry their daughter, I was ready to go ring shopping.

Ring shopping?

I had no idea about rings, so I took one of my good friends Judah along. Judah is married, so I figured he would be a good person to help me find a ring, also I wanted to keep the engagement a secret. A few days before July 16th, 2012 Judah and I went shopping for a ring. After more than a few different stores I decided upon a ring.

Little did I know that the day Brooke was yearning to be married and start a life together with me was the day that I had gone ring shopping. Lots of stories centered upon the blessing of a ring (which we will explain in later posts).

With the ring in hand, it was time to unfold my surprise engagement plan to Brooke’s parents.

(From Brooke’s Perspective)

 “The things that make God dear to us are not so much His great big blessings as the tiny things, because they show His amazing intimacy with us; He knows every detail of our individual lives.” –Oswald Chambers {My Utmost For HIS Highest}

I remember the journey to Haiti quite clearly. It was full of vivid thoughts and memories. Beautiful memories that I shall never forget, and yet I was in a haze as well, a dream-like haze that I was waltzing through. As I look back though my journal during this time it brings huge smiles, not only to my face but also my heart! The days I was in Haiti, my Lord richly blessed me. At night, when the day was ended, and my sweet sisters in Christ drifted off to sleep, the Lord would bring to my mind the “revelation” when Josh revealed what the Lord had been intricately working on his heart…so unexpected, so surreal, that I even asked myself on a number of occasions, “Did that really happen? Or am I just dreaming?” To reassure myself that it did indeed happen and it was as not a dream-world I was in, I would put my hand under my pillow, which is where I stashed the pile of handwritten letters. Every night, after everyone was asleep I would pull out a letter and read these letters…I shan’t share what I found in those letters, but they drew me closer to my Beloved King. They were not “love letters” according to what this world would call “love letters” they were better, they were letters pointing to LOVE, Love Himself. I couldn’t have asked for more.

 During those days while I was in Haiti, my prayer was that I would be fully there, completely given. I also had moments here and there (mostly once my head lay on my pillow) to pray to my Counselor and Abba Daddy and ponder His will in the coming days. Oh, that He would lead me in the path of HIS own choosing, that was my desire.


 June 14th, 2011, after a heart wrenching and tear filled goodbye to the 2010-2011 HLF (His Little Feet) children that had become so very dear to my heart, I was now in Madera California. Josh’s home, of all places! Me, my friend Carrie, and a whole team were leaving for China and the Philippines on the 16th of June. I knew I was in the midst of HIS will for this moment in time, which is the best place to be. Before leaving for our journey my dear Lord gave me just the time I needed to pray and fast and be still before Him. It was a beautiful day! I remember just delighting in it, praying, fasting, searching…open before Him. I wrote in my journal early the next morning of multiple confirmations large and small that the Lord had shown me the day before. We were leaving on June 16th, I called my mom that morning, just a few hours before I left and told her all that had taken place before I had left for Haiti. Asking her, that both she and my dad would pray for me in this area.

The Lord worked in my life in countless ways during my time in the Philippines and China. I was stretched and poured out continually, and yet, in spite of what may seem difficult at times, the Lord revealed Himself to me like I had never seen Him before. I saw a new aspect to my Lord and Master. Just another facet of HIS infiniteness. In my utter weakness HIS virtue would well up within me, and pour out. Words cannot express the beauty of being given for the cause and instead of hopelessness that there is nothing left for oneself, you fall even more deeply in love with our El Shaddai because of HIS endless love pouring forth!






There was a little space of time between the Philippines and China and before the next His Little Feet tour began so I was able to go home for a little while. A few days before I went home, (the actual date of those days are slightly hazy in my memory but what happened isn’t…) Josh and I went to Alba’s a coffee shop in our little town. Two days in a row I do believe. The first time we went my sweet friend Rachel agreed to come and “chaperon” and the second day it so happened that Pastor Eric was working at the coffee shop! : ) The question was in the back of Josh’s thoughts, I could tell. “Is she going to answer me?” “It has been several weeks, is she going to say anything today?” The fact was, I had “talked” to my mom the day I was leaving for the mission trip but I had been about the Lord’s work and even though the Lord had placed an answer on my heart I wanted my parent’s counsel, prayers, and blessing before I said anything to Josh. I remember those days in the coffee shops being delightful! I would come back to campus ready to find a quite spot and bask in my Jesus! Our conversations were strength! As Josh would say, “dipped in the fiery inkwell of the Holy Spirit!” I would share all we talked about but just typing the second day conversation out (which was 4 hours long) It would be quite the manuscript once I was finished. Though an amazing manuscript if I do say so myself! One little thing I shall share is that at the time Josh didn’t know it, but especially during the two days we met to talk I saw the Lord using Josh to confirm the things He had been laying on my heart, which only my Lord Jesus knew. One being, that very morning He pressed upon me to begin reading Revelation. The very thing I read that morning was a prominent part of our discussion, and I wasn’t the one who initiated it. Second, for years the Lord has brought up the feasts of His holy people to me in my walk with Him, a secret desire of mine was that my husband one day would share that passion and we would grow together in that area as the Lord led. Josh, full of zeal and passion shared in abundance about what the Lord had been teaching him on this very subject. Third, many things I had been wanting to study or was studying was found in our conversation that day. Fourth, the Lord also laid on my heart for a time of fasting and I had been praying about how many days, subconsciously the Lord kept whispering a number to me, and lo and behold, in many (and I mean MANY) little ways He used Josh to confirm that number to me. I share all this to say that the Lord used this as yet another confirmation to me. My Abba Father was gently whispering in my ear, “My dear daughter, do you not see, I am passing the spiritually headship to Josh to symbolize that He is the one I have chosen for you to lead and protect you.” Talk about wooing my heart, the Lord knew what would melt me!

The days went by quickly but I made sure to pen in a few dates in my journal so it would forever be written out. “Monday the 11th – I talked to my mom. Wednesday the 13th – I talked to my dad. Friday the 15th – I talked to both of them together. I feel…very light & happy!” I think this is one of those times where one wishes they could express their feelings in words but one utterly fails and has to use normal everyday language & trust the memory transforms them! 🙂

I had come up to “visit” everyone up at Ellerslie on July 16th, for the sole purpose of giving a life altering answer to Josh. That evening Josh and I took a little stroll down the Poudre trail. We walked in silence for a time, we laughed, we talked about this and that but the question and the answer hung thickly in the air between us. I had never quite told a young man that my answer was “yes” and that the Lord had been pressing the same things on my heart, and that it skipped a beat at the thought of being in a relationship with such a handsome young man of God…I have never been one to blurt of deep feelings of my heart. But, somehow I found the courage, and my answer spilled forth. After 6 weeks since that surreal night on the porch, I was giving Josh an answer. I was in quite the state of…bliss and haze, that I do not even remember in the slightest what I said but I can tell you for sure that there wasn’t ever such a “couple” walking in the clouds with silly grins on their faces and hearts as the two of us walking down the lane! And because our God is a God of beautiful details, that evening I found out that it was Josh’s parent’s anniversary. : ) And so, began… our courtship.

A day after we officially began our relationship Josh and I went to a dear family’s house to fellowship with them. Once it was time for me to journey home Josh walked me to my car, and opened the door for me, *I was melting* I remember just before he shut my car door, he leaned on it and said, “Keep studying the tabernacle. When they built it the foundation was costly. I will explain fully, later on.” *even more heart melting* with that, he bid me fare well and shut the car door. I was filled with awe that the Lord had given me such a godly young man, who would constantly point me to Christ!


This tour was the most beautiful and yet the most intense. I was stretched, I was refined, Jesus was continually teaching me of Calvary’s love. There are just WAY too many stories to share what happened every day of this 7-month tour. Each story always pointed me back to HIM, each day overflowed with my Jesus, each day taught me of Him to a greater extent, there was so much laughter, so much joy, so many memories, so much love, lessons, tears, reliance upon HIM like never before; I was brought to the END of myself. Every day was a testimony of my God, the children transformed before our eyes, it was beautiful, it was HIS doing. Looking back, it just brings tears to my eyes to think of our Master’s constant intimacy with each of us. It truly was a beautiful thing to behold and look back upon. There were many a hard time, but I wouldn’t trade any of them, not one. True gold never fears the fire, and I wanted to be the truest of gold for my Lord and Master. I knew, and still know, whatever my God does, He does for a reason!





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 Here is a little excerpt from my journal during the tour,

“While I was reading a book entitled “Kisses From Katie” there was many things in her walk that rang true in my life, it is beautiful to see the Lord at work because they are all unique, just like every unique snowflake that gently falls to the earth, and yet they all have marks of the same Master Artist as well. I found this quote at the moment in time where it matched perfectly to what He was bringing me through at that moment, “God has a way of using inadequate people and sometimes He calls us to reach a little higher or to stretch a little further even when we feel we can’t do any more. We simply trust Him. And then, He gives everything to us so the “more” that He is asking us to do can be done.”

“It was as if a veil that had hung before her inner consciousness has been lifted, giving to her view of revelation of unexpected feelings and realities.” That quote was said of a little fictional character but rang true in my life of budding romance. Isn’t that just a lovely thought? My love story was just beginning, the Lord was awakening my heart, our romance was budding. Just little buds beginning to peek their way to the world round about them. And day by day, month by month, year by year…our romance shall continue to bloom, blossom, and flourish with the Gardener who tended and planted it in the first place.

There are a few little tales to be told of our courtship during the course of time, which I was on the road with His Little Feet. Most stories, that happened everyday would more or less bore you but they bring soft smiles to me as I remember them. Little conversations, prayers, hopes, dreams, letters, little things, day in and day out that when one puts them together it composes the most beautiful melody of a life brimming with God’s richest blessings a girl could ever ask for. Life is rich and full… everywhere, in every little detail and moment. If only we can only open our whole hearts to its richness and fullness and praise our Father in Heaven for pouring such beauty upon us. One little story happened when the team flew to Nevada…

Josh had told me that he was going up to the family cabin with his family. The day we arrived in Nevada I received a text saying that “Betsy” the Kinabrew family car broke down, thus making the journey up the mountain to the cabin impossible. I had a secret hope, deep down in my heart, that Josh would have come out to Nevada, since it was rather close to CA and we could see each other for a little bit. It was a secret hope, that I thought would not come true but with that last text from Josh about Betsy let a little flutter of hope and suspicion rise. That evening while Christa was having the host family meeting all of us staff were talking and Aaron happened to mention that his parents had been texting him about their cabin trip and what happened to poor Betsy and that he had a little suspicion of his own. Hope grew just a bit more in my heart as I agreed with Aaron and shared my own thoughts about the matter. Kourtney and Carrie put their two bits in, “Brooke! You mustn’t get your hopes up too high! That may be just wishful thinking.” Said one of my dear friends to me, I shall save her identity : p  (Little did I know that they were completely aware of this scheme that I had no knowledge of…) and giggling at their cleverness to put me off track. But oh! I wanted nothing to do with wishful thinking, they were quite right, I shouldn’t set myself up for disappointment, there shall be no more “wishful thinking” for me in this area, I was quite determined. Christa, unknown to my knowledge had even talked to my host family, who were in on the scheme. That evening Christa texted me to see if I would be willing to arrive at the church several hours before everyone else was scheduled to arrive, to talk over the with her the location and set up of the tables. This was quite normal, especially when we were at a large church, which was the case here. So, we had it all planned Christa would come pick me up in the morning and then we would proceed to the church. The next morning my host home’s son said that my ride was here and they pointed me to the front door, something seemed slightly off kilter but I could put my finger on anything. I proceeded to walk to the front door. It was slightly ajar, “Hmmmm, strange.” Once I opened the door all I could do was stand there, mouth gaping, in shock. Josh was standing there, smiling down at me with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. I stood there, heart pounding with my knees quite weak, I was trembling all over, but I was just gazing up at him with a huge smile all over my face. And then, we hugged, for the very first time. Twas’ the best first hug, EVER. : ) I was wrapped up in his warm embrace (which logically, was probably best, because if I didn’t have his support I probably would have collapsed.) I lay my head on his chest and heard his heart beating, quite rapidly. It was a lovely moment that I shan’t ever forget. After that the whole story spilled out, who was involved, how it all happened they informed me that before surprising me, they went to Aaron’s host home and surprised him as well. We all set out to have breakfast as a merry bunch! I, was walking in a stunned & blissful haze for the rest of the day. Some would say, I was twitterpated, we were both twitter patted, so they said… in all honesty, I must say, tis true.

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 We were able to go on a few little walks together a couple jaunts around the church, and once around the neighborhood of my host home. Our last walk together, before Josh and his family had to head back home, was quite delightful. Just strolling together, talking, laughing, being silent, but side by side…and then as our walk was coming to a close, he asked me. He was the perfect gentleman, I don’t remember the exact words that formed the question but, he asked me if he may hold my hand, and not only did he ask my permission to hold my hand but he had asked my father what his thoughts were about holding his daughter’s hands. I answered shyly, and probably ever so softly, “Yes, you may.” All the while my heart melting just in awe that this all was happening to me! Lord, your gifts are so marvelous! And so, we walked back towards the house, my small hand tenderly held in his strong hand for the very first time. The world was beautiful.

I shan’t mention all the times I was teased (with all the joy and goodwill), especially after the wonderful Nevada surprise. From my brothers and sisters in Christ all the way down to the children. “Ooooooh Auntie!!!!” was a phrase I heard often. Oh dear, did that never fail to make me blush! *smile* I wasn’t used to such teasing, but it makes me smile just to think of it now. 🙂

The day in which we had to send our children back home was quite bittersweet. Each and everyone of us knew that it was HIS will for them to go back, During their time in America the Lord built them strong, ready for the next season in their little lives. Saying farewell was one of the most heart-wrenching things I had ever done. One last hug, one last squeeze of the hand, one last moment to hear their voice, remember the sound of their laugh, maybe yet another hug… do I have to let go? Trying to be brave and not cry, failing miserably; with tears streaming down my face (twasn’t a pretty cry, trust me!), a brave smile, a wave, trying to get the last glimpse before they vanished out of sight down the escalator. Resting in my Abba’s arms. And yet HIS peace pervaded, HIS ways are higher than ours. He has a family, a forever Daddy & Mommy waiting with open arms down that path for each of our dear children whom we had come to love so fiercely with HIS heart beating within us. If anything, I tasted (just a little morsel, in which I don’t think my heart could handle more than that morsel.) the depths of our Heavenly Father’s love.


Soon after our children’s departure it was time to go home, time to prepare for the new season in life that would come somewhere down the road… it was a time of preparation and a time to spend with my family – I began to pack up my room at Ellerslie, the room that I had lived in for almost three whole, beautiful years. The room that had held so many memories, so much laughter, so many lessons. There was so much change all around me. It was a new season with many beautiful possibilities stretched out before me. A joy unspeakable rose up within me for the journey HE has walked me though to that point. Oh how HE was and still is transforming me into HIS transparent radiance!

I didn’t exactly know what Josh’s plans were, he would say something to throw me off, and it did indeed throw me off. He would say something along the lines of, “I am waiting on the Lord, it could be 5 days or it could be 5 years.” I am one that likes to plan, I like knowing what is around the bend, the Lord knows this and has continually been stretching me and teaching me to rest in His capable hands. I remember one particular day; July 13th (one year ago already…) I had a desire welling up within me, like never before. It was a deep longing to be married, a desire to be Josh’s wife, to be a homemaker and all the joys that flow from it. I knew the Lord was allowing this desire to well up within my heart, He was nurturing it, allowing it to blossom more then ever had, because this was a new season. The Master Gardener was tending my little heart, yet again, this time, tending the soil for what was to come. That day, I wandered over hills, through thickets, and poured my heart out to Him, sharing with Him this desire welling up within me and threating to spill out of me, the desire to know, the temptation of impatient, discontentment, oh, the restlessness I felt. By the end of our (My Heavenly Father’s and My) walk in the place of that restless desire was a desire full of resolute peace, knowing that whatever the future may hold, whether it was 5 days or 5 years, He would keep me in perfect peace and as He cultivated our blooming romance it would flourish in His perfect timing. . .

. . .little did I know, during the exact same time I was pouring my heart and allowing His peace to pervade me, giving Him my full trust. My beloved, Josh was roaming through the world of rings in search of the perfect engagement ring to place on my finger as a covenant before God and man, of a love…stemming from God, that would last forever. . .

1 Comment

  1. Dear Josh and Brooke,
    I have been reading your love story one chapter at a time and I look forward to the evenings when I can “turn” to another chapter and be astounded by what our God has done next. Thank you both. Thank you for being a truly radiant example of what God can do in the lives of those who trust Him. Your love story is a truly beautiful and breath-taking reminder that God is truly the Author of romance, and writes love stories that Hollywood can’t touch! May God bless you both this day and always, and may your marriage always be pruned by the Master Gardener and thrive like like a lily amongst thorns! And He is faithful – He will do it!

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